While We Suffer

I hate life and everything about it. Sometimes, while lying sleepless in bed, listening to my wife snore, I wonder if God would send me to hell if I killed myself. It would be easy. I would set up my pull-up bar that I never use and tie myself a strong noose; After all that, I would jump off my office chair, taking care that my knees are bent (wouldn't want to hurt my ankle, after all). That would be enough to end me, and then I wouldn't have to worry about this terrible life anymore. The Bible says that you shouldn't be anxious, yet it says we will suffer. That makes a lot of fucking sense, does it not? The more I read the Bible, the less I like it. You can talk about free will all you want but in reality, does it matter? God designed us knowing that we would be failures and we would all suffer because of a couple's choice and the choices we make based on his blueprint for us.

Stupid fucking Americans think that there is a happy ending for us all, and that is what God has designed for us. Although that's a novel idea, it isn't true. Can a kid starving to death in Africa have the same luxury of thinking that it will all work out in the end when his brother died the previous day of starvation? Those people know more about suffering than most people in America will ever be able to imagine. In real life, after you step out of your pastor's brainwashing sermons, you can't help but look around and wonder if God even gives a shit anymore. It sure doesn't look like He does, and despite the suffering kid's cries, He doesn't answer, instead He gives your pastor a new car or some wealthy white lady the ability to have a child she will care less for than her possessions. Praise God!

-David